An exercise in expressive code, this iteration of my site was inspired by unsolicited advice to make my design portfolio look more traditional. Using PHP, the site deteriorates in structure and tone as the user explores the site, denying functionality, cutting off access to information, and rambling at length about strange and personal things.

Site design resulted in zero design job offers. I still believe it was a far superior direction than the one in which I was advised to go.

Just the "good parts" of erotica - instances of words like "fuck," "tits," and "cock" - cut from the page and packaged for quick and convenient consumption.

"Form 53X: Proposal of Initiation of Physical Interaction of an Intimate Nature" aims to formalize and streamline all of your pre-coital scheduling and consent matters. Perfect for the couple that's too busy or emotionally distant to actually interact with one another.

Printed on carbonless copy paper, these relationship management forms are available for purchase in packages of ten. Please contact me for details.

Empty jar of a fictional food product named "Fucks" and physical one-liner.

Found and edited pornographic video with original voiceover. Reframes pornography as a competetive sporting event, organized and presented by the National Competetive Fucking League - the NCFL.

Ideally presented in a living room with snacks, drinks, and guests so as to mimic a sports viewing party.